35 minutes

As we grow up, we lose people... that is just the way everything turns out. I am completely fine accepting the fact that friends will come and go, people will pass away, and everything will eventually change. I'm smart enough to know that every friend I have will most likely move on and grow apart from me, I get it. There is just one friend I cannot and will not let go of- my sister. She is going to college soon and I am scared for my life. I am scared of losing her and having her completely disappear. She is a senior and the last thing I want is for this year to be over. I just came home early from a neighborhood Christmas party because all of the kids on my block wanted to drink for the occasion and I could tell just by looking at my sister that she wanted to join them. In response to that I knew well enough as to leave and just go home and let her, but if it was up to me, I would have taken her home, too. I can't picture her drinking, swearing, or even partying even though she does all of those things. If I can't even handle this small situation, how will I handle her in college? She will be "studying" at one of the top party schools and while that is happening, the last thing she will care about is me. I know it sounds selfish, but it's the way I feel. Losing her in just a few months scares the life out of me. When I have any problems, I end up telling her... so where will my backbone be? Who will I be able to talk to and tell my pointless stories to?  What will I do with all of my spare time? (It has been 35 minutes of her at my neighbor's house drinking- I can't stand this.)
So I think it is safe to say that I will be lost when I lose her and I don't know how to cope with the future.  I am dreading the day she leaves for college, I know I will just want to die that day. I'm really scared. Scared out of my mind.

The Lonely

a few scattered trees.
a naked blue sky.
high grass covering any non-existent life.
a pale girl stands looking around herself anxiously with tears streaming down her face and rolling off her chin.
the wind kicks up~ blowing her hair over her hardly-pounding chest.
she holds a white blanket between the fingers of a clenched left hand.
grasping the blanket tightly she closes her eyes.
the wind picks up and forces the blanket out of her hand.
with swollen eyes she turns slowly to see a woman behind her holding the white blanket with one hand as the other reaches out~
palm facing the 
sky.