A Dedication

It's heartwarming to see the love and respect my friend has for her family. She would do anything to save them, jump in front of a bullet for any of them. By the way she stares and the way she writes you grasp an honest sense of sentimentality.
As I wake up in her room after another one of those crazy sleepovers you start to think. If only I could peel back those layers and see inside her- who she fully is- that'd be a dream. Well I did. After reading her blog I am now positive that she is the best writer I've ever met... She convinced me that with her staircase. When I first met her I just thought she was extremely funny and fun to be around... which is why I decided to bring her to my Idaho home with me. Easily the best decision I've ever made. Choosing her to join me on that flight changed my life completely... Not only did I have a fun time in Idaho, but now everyday is ten times more fun than it used to be. The only thing I wish is that she could see herself for how truly amazing she is. She needs to know that she could change people.

The point of this is dedication. I want to dedicate this to one of the most full-rounded human beings I've ever met. Whether or not she believes it, she really does have a good future (which hopefully includes writing... because this girl can seriously write). Well this is to you, thanks for being there for me.

I love you Aubs.

35 minutes

As we grow up, we lose people... that is just the way everything turns out. I am completely fine accepting the fact that friends will come and go, people will pass away, and everything will eventually change. I'm smart enough to know that every friend I have will most likely move on and grow apart from me, I get it. There is just one friend I cannot and will not let go of- my sister. She is going to college soon and I am scared for my life. I am scared of losing her and having her completely disappear. She is a senior and the last thing I want is for this year to be over. I just came home early from a neighborhood Christmas party because all of the kids on my block wanted to drink for the occasion and I could tell just by looking at my sister that she wanted to join them. In response to that I knew well enough as to leave and just go home and let her, but if it was up to me, I would have taken her home, too. I can't picture her drinking, swearing, or even partying even though she does all of those things. If I can't even handle this small situation, how will I handle her in college? She will be "studying" at one of the top party schools and while that is happening, the last thing she will care about is me. I know it sounds selfish, but it's the way I feel. Losing her in just a few months scares the life out of me. When I have any problems, I end up telling her... so where will my backbone be? Who will I be able to talk to and tell my pointless stories to?  What will I do with all of my spare time? (It has been 35 minutes of her at my neighbor's house drinking- I can't stand this.)
So I think it is safe to say that I will be lost when I lose her and I don't know how to cope with the future.  I am dreading the day she leaves for college, I know I will just want to die that day. I'm really scared. Scared out of my mind.

The Lonely

a few scattered trees.
a naked blue sky.
high grass covering any non-existent life.
a pale girl stands looking around herself anxiously with tears streaming down her face and rolling off her chin.
the wind kicks up~ blowing her hair over her hardly-pounding chest.
she holds a white blanket between the fingers of a clenched left hand.
grasping the blanket tightly she closes her eyes.
the wind picks up and forces the blanket out of her hand.
with swollen eyes she turns slowly to see a woman behind her holding the white blanket with one hand as the other reaches out~
palm facing the 
sky.